Thursday, May 21, 2009

Climbing a steep hill

A few days ago, I went out to feed the horses. Inexplicably, one of the feed tubs was missing. We don't have a big paddock. Altogether it might be 3 acres. Most of it is wooded. So I knew it couldn't be too far away. I looked around for a bit, with all of the horses following me. They were just talking away to me, nickering and neighing, fussin' at me to hurry and feed them. Finally I spotted the feed bin. Some how it rolled to the very bottom of the steepest hill on our property.
Walking down the hill was easy. I have to be a little careful walking down hills because of severely blown out knees. Gymnastics seems fun when you are young ... actually it was pretty fun. But add some years, a few other injuries, and the onset of arthritis and well you start to wonder why you thought it necessary to swing around on uneven bars or flip yourself a 1000 ways across a springboard.
So back to the hill. There I was, at the bottom of the hill surrounded by hungry chatting horses. I picked up the feed tub and starting walking up the hill. The grade is longer at first, a slow slope. Not too bad. I was dodging poo piles and swatting flies. Then I got to the steep part. The horses where in my way, they wouldn't move readily. Usually they are well behaved critters but in anticipation of their breakfast, the manners ranked somewhere down there with the poo.
I got winded quickly and I slowed down. Patch, our biggest horse not so politely bumped me in the tookus with his large head. I didn't fall, but I was pitched froward and had to put my hands down to keep from falling. I dropped the feed bin and Murphy being all spiteful and sarcastic like he can be: of course it rolled back down the hill. Thankfully my little mare Terra stopped it with her nose. So I only had to walk back down the the bottom of the steep part of the hill.
I'll be honest here, I am about 40 pounds too heavy. I don't really gain weight easily. I seem to stay stuck at the same weight unless I make a radical change. Radical change, tends to kick your butt. I don't like my butt kicked.
But it was here at the almost bottom of the hill that I knew that I was ridiculously out of shape. So I started climbing up the hill, feed tub in tow. Hungry horses right behind me to make sure I didn't defect on their breakfast. I brought all four tubs up to the porch. Here's something funny for you non horse people. I spend more time "making" the horse's breakfast that I do my own. First I put in the grain. Then I add wet beet pulp and that's top dressed with a supplement. Sometimes we add Canola oil too. It takes 10 minutes or so to dip everything out. Then I put the tubs in the wheelbarrow and take them out to the fence line. The horses line up to eat according to their "pecking" order. Patchouli, Tabee, Junior and then Terra.
I got all the food set out. Then I realized that I was exhausted!
Then I was angry! I usually get angry when I can't do something well. It's a personality defect ... I am workin' on it, ok!
But yes, I was one of those kids that quit in the middle of Monopoly if I wasn't doing well. The difference is, usually, if I don't do something well. I learn to do it better.
Thing is, I know ALL about HOW to loose weight. I know ALL about WHAT to eat and WHAT NOT to eat. But I haven't gotten any better at it.
Then I sort of digressed a little and realized that life in general is like that hill. Sometimes you go down easy, sometimes you fall down fast and hard. Sometimes you are fit enough to run back up that hill and not miss a breath. Sometimes it's a struggle. Sometimes stuff is in your way and sometimes stuff knocks you down. But see, I had no choice but to walk back up that hill. Even if I went around, there was still a hill. That's life, you just gotta tough it out. In my industry we say "cowgirl up".
A long time ago I learned that we learn two ways: repetition or emotion. I also learned that sometimes a person is just not ready for the thing they are trying to do. There head isn't in the right place.
I once interviewed a famous horseman - I asked him if it bothered him when his students studied with him for years and years and then just quit. He told me that it used to bother him but he was finally able to realize that those people just weren't ready to completely learn the art of horsemanship. He told me that he wished he could play the guitar better and that he'd taken lessons from famous musicians. He told me that he "played at" his guitar several times a week. But he admitted, maybe even for the first time to both me and himself that he really wasn't ready to commit to being a better guitar player.
I guess, for whatever reason, I've not been ready to shed this weight for good. It's deeper than that thou. I know this is true for a lot of moms out there. I haven't been ready to focus on myself and my own needs. Not ready and not equipped. That's a gear change, don't you think? But I am doing it, in baby steps. I am teaching myself to remember ME. But it's a hill. It's a long steep hill.
If you are at the bottom of a hill ... you ain't got a choice. You just gotta climb it. Just look at the top of the hill (the goal) and climb. The obstacles will slow you down, sometimes they might stop you. Sometimes you might need the rest, so that's okay. But remember that you are climbing. I think the top is a fantasy but I think, if you work on it. You get better at the climb. I think maybe one day you'll just be walking over small hills and jumping ditches and puddles. I think - when you are ready, the climb is a welcome addition to your day.

Keep climbing,
Tess

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Finding your feet ...

Over the years in publishing HorseSouth, I have met many people. Some people were just memorable and some people I consider dear friends. Over the weekend my friends Chris Cox ( http://www.chris-cox.com ) and his business manager Glen Young were in Clemson, SC for one of Chris' Ride the Journey tour stops.
My hubby Kent was gracious enough to stay home with our kids and my dear friend Karen Jones came over and we rode over to Clemson yesterday to visit with our friends.
I have attended so very many clinics and demonstrations over the last 9 years that I have to confess, I don't often pay attention during them anymore.
After we visited with Glen & Chris during lunch the clinic resumed and Chris was working with a pretty palomino on collection issues and admittedly I was checking my facebook page and not really listening. He worked that little horse and got it softer and more supple and had it cantering all collected up - which is a pretty sight. He was putting some leg on him / her (I don't remember if it was a mare or a gelding). After a bit, he asked the horse's owner to ride. He was reminding her to look where she wanted to go instead of at the horse. Because when you are riding, you'll loose your rhythm if you look down. Not sure why you do, but you do. You have to focus on where you want the horse to go. It's very important.
But think about that, think about how that translates to life in general. You have to stay focused on where you want to go. You you look down or back, you loose your rhythm - just the same as on the back of a horse. It's a flow of energy and once it's disrupted, you sort of have to be skilled to get the energy flowing in the right direction again.
In my book, which I am writing with another dear horsey friend Templeton Thompson, we talk about rivers of shit! LOL sounds silly, I know. But so true to life. Everything in life has a flow of energy. Even the bad stuff. But so many times we stay marred up in the shit. The problem with shit is that no matter where you put it, how you package it ... it's still shit. Templeton said that you have to let the shit river flow ... just like the you let the good energy river flow. If you don't let energy flow, if you stop it and play with it or you stay mucked up in it - well, that's where you will be! That's where so many people are. An old saying about that is "they can't see the Forrest for the tress". When I was involved in multilevel marketing folks would say about a new recruit with potential "he's too busy making $10 an hour to be a millionaire". Don't sweat the small stuff, learn to let it flow on down the road.
Later on in the day Chris rode his horse Pepto to talk about lead changes. He talked about how important it was to know where your horse's feet are. If you know that, he explained, you have better feel and control over your horse's body and energy. Also, you are a lot more confident when you know where the feet are. You aren't as apt to be taken by surprise etc. This lesson too, translates to everyday life. How many people do you see lost in thought or lost in a routine, just going thru the motions of life? They don't know where their feet are. Even later in the day, we were at dinner at a wonderful restaurant in Clemson called Pixie & Bill's. J. Parson's was singing and the restaurant owner was listening, everyone was relaxed enjoying good company, great music and friendship. The owner of the restaurant asked Chris the mystical question. "What is the connection" how is it that horses help people so much? In this instance, he was referring to therapeutic services and autistic children being helped by the presence of horses.
This is a question that even one of the most recognized horsemen in the world can't fully answer. But he explained how horses are just sponges, and they can just "soak" up the emotions of their human and spill it back out. With a child or a mentally challenged person, a physically challenged person this is almost always a good thing. But with an anger ridden person, a depressed person it can be either emotionally cleansing or it can be a train wreck. This is why therapeutic programs have a professional there to make sure the experience for the troubled person is cathartic and positive. Why horses can do this for people is somewhat mysterious so it's a hard question for someone to answer in a oratorical fashion. What Chris did say is that horses "ground" people. When you are riding or just hanging out with horses all of the worries and chaos that is life on earth just melts away and you are grounded, you are one with time ... in that moment. You know where your feet are!
SO ask yourself this week ... do I know where my feet are? And if you don't, find them! Maybe you can find them with your horses. Maybe you can find them in a trout stream. Maybe your feet will return to you during a golf game. I don't know what grounds you. But find it. Because if we could all get more grounded and know where our feet are, the world would be a better place.

Abundant Blessings,
Tess

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

You never know ...

I guess there are a lot of quotes I could dig up about minding your tongue. There are many more about how your words affect folks. It's a two way street. Your words might inspire or encourage or they might cut to the bone.
I'll share a very personal story.
About five days after my first child was born my then husband decided he didn't want to be married to me anymore. It sucked, pretty hard. I was mostly angry and because I had a precious newborn to care for I sort of adopted an attitude that I couldn't be bothered by his nonsensical crap. But I was broken on the inside, big ol honkin' knife in my back was hard for me to ignore.
My dear friend Templeton recently released a new album. She's an amazin' singer, songwriter, cowgirl poet. She has a song on this album called "Stronger in the broken places" http://www.templetonthompson.com
This song is an anthem for healing from anything that might have been a tough row to hoe for you. First time I heard it - tears instantly sprang to my eyes. It reminded me of nearly 12 years ago when I took my 6 week old baby to my post-havin'-a-baby appointment. I was alone. My husband was shacked up with his new love and I began the journey of raisin' my incredible son Wade on my own (which by the Grace of God didn't last long). In the waiting room some incredibly well meaning woman asked me or commented that she betted that my husband was sure proud of such a beautiful and perfect baby boy. Still full of a lot of anger, I said with as much grace as possible that I really wouldn't know. Without great detail I explained that Wade's "dad" cheated on me while I was pregnant and was not really pitchin' in with the diaper changes. He was gone. I'll never forget that woman. She didn't belittle my ex-husband (who is making amends these days) but she said. "Well, honey ... you are in a better position than you think. You are beautiful and you have this gorgeous baby boy and you will meet someone wonderful. You will meet a man that will fall in love with this child and with you, so don't you worry."
She spoke my world into existence ... just threw it out there to the universe and about a year later I met Kent. Kent fell in love with Wade before he completely fell for me.
So what you say to someone, even if you are just bein' sweet or thoughtful can hold more meaning for someone than you ever realize.
We are stronger in the broken places ... I think that a lot of people feel broken these days because financial circumstances are beyond their control. It's hard not to feel broken when you don't have money to pay for the things you and your loved ones need. I know what that feels like. I also know we will all be better for the struggles. I really wonder if this isn't our good Lord trying to wipe out that sense of entitlement that plagued our young people and many of their parents too. Many of us have been saying "we need to get back to basics" and how our values were eroding. Well nothing will jerk your butt right into reality and right from wrong like being absolutely forced live on the meager side. Maybe it's a collective smack upside the head? God knows and has been telling us for round about 2000 years that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Sometimes it makes us a little jaded and cynical too. We can get past that. Moral decay is a little tougher to turn at a dead gallop. I don't know but a lot of folks I know are getting back to those basics and enjoying time with their families. They are taking walks and enjoying simpler things. I experience so much joy just from watching my kids. Yesterday, my five year old really thought he could walk down to the pasture and pick up one of the many birds that were feasting on dropped grain and bring it to me. He asked my permission "Mommy, can I bring you a bword." My laughter was the product of pure, unadulterated amusement. You can't pay payments on that.

You are stronger in the broken places!
peace and light
Tess

Monday, March 2, 2009

Blogolicious ....

Today I found out that my electric company is charging it's members twice what neighboring EMCs are! The news came via our local newspaper and well, it just put a hair in my biscuit! I usually don't get angry, I hardly ever "rant". I am calm and I am rational ... my friends would say that I am too nice and give people the benefit of the doubt when they do not deserve it.
But this made me down right "ill" (ill is a southern term for really pissed off and can also mean especially grumpy).
These economy woes have my town, which is a beautiful place in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, sinking in a pit of despair. Our main industry in Blue Ridge is tourism (and people just aren't coming up like they normally do) and construction (which is all but at a stand still). There are tons of new homes on the market in this county. Beautiful log sided homes with generous stacked stone fireplaces and gorgeous views. But guess what? Folks that WILL be buying these type of homes will more than likely buy in neighboring Gilmer or Union County now. Wouldn't you? Twice the electric bill. If I could move, I think I would just on principle! MAD, that's what I am!
The lady my hubby spoke to at the electric company just said that "it' ain't true" that their rates are higher? It's in black and white thou ...
So here is what I'd like to know?
Where are you cutting back to make the dollars as elastic as possible these days? We are eating a few more packages of Ramen noodles than in previous months. We spent a little money on insulation for the house in an effort to save on the electric bill. I bought cheaper laundry degerent, but we didn't like it at all.
That's another question, what is WORTH saving on? I mean, is Bed Head Shampoo really worth the price tag? Tractor Supply sells a feed that is nearly the same as Purina Strategy (even made by Purina)it's at least $4 cheaper a bag. Do you have your Fox Hunting coat altered instead of buying a new one? Do you spend more time at home just watching TV? Have your perceptions of what is frivolous changed?
Saturday my family and I went down to Marietta to Harry's Farmers Market. Next to Barnes and Noble, Harry's is my favorite place to go. Because of the distance we only go once every other month or so. This was the first time we'd been in at least six months. We got a lot of fresh produce (most of which is organic and at least regionally grown). We also got some amazing cheeses so that I could make "Beer Cheese Soup". The first time I had this soup was when I worked at Longhorn when Wade was a baby. I made it a few times then but hadn't made it in years. We got home from Harry's with our groceries and commenced soup making. We turned up the radio in the kitchen and sat at the table together. Kent cut onions while I grated celery and carrots. We sauteed those in butter then went on the grate up our two kinds of cheese. We had such a good time, very relaxing just to make that soup together. I love to cook and being able to cook with excellent fresh ingredients is such a joy. If you are feeling bored and don't have the funds for a night on the town, just dig out a labor intensive recipe turn up the music and find a little joy in creating something different and yummy in your own kitchen.
My beer cheese soup recipe is going up on HorseSouth.com later this week. If you aren't a cook you could always just turn up the music and dance in the kitchen!
Til later ... when I won't be so mad :)

Tess

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Courage in the face of ... whatever

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

In my journeys as the editor / publisher / owner of a magazine I have had a lot of rare opportunities. I have met great horsemen and women, I have traveled to interesting places and learned things that I would have never otherwise known. I have challenged myself in ways I never knew needed challenge.

Today, I had the great pleasure of interviewing marketing guru and editor and contributor to the book The New Psycho-Cybernetics ... which is an updated version of the original "self-help" book Psycho-Cybernetics written by Dr. Maxwell Maltz in 1960.
In Dan's updated version he told of his passion for harness racing. It was this and his citations of examples of successes in our industry of Jane Savoie and John Lyons that led me to seek an interview.

You can learn more about what Dan does at http://www.dankennedy.com

It is interesting to me that no matter who you are, horses are the ultimate equalizer. Dan and I laughed about this very fact. It's no matter than his horses are Standardbreds and mine are stock type. He told me that he grew up around the track, his dad trained horses for while. He was no stranger to racing when a longer than usual break between speaking engagements kept him in Ohio. He called the PR department at the track, got in on the field and the rest is history. Now, some years later he has 20 + horses and races 150 times per year!

In the article - I'll share with you some of his insights on training and some of his success principles too. It was both an honor and a privileged to spend a half hour talking to this iconic man.

It is the study of the book Pyscho-Cybernetics that has helped me to meet the challenges that have been thrown at me lately. For that, I am profoundly grateful!

Onward and Upward,
T

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Is it just me?

Is it just me or is it tough to find a positive attitude lately? I have to include myself in this diatribe. Its not that I am negative, I just feel incredibly drained and so very tired.
I wonder if we put so much collective energy into pre-election chats, blogs, discussions and personal thoughts that we've created some sort of vacuum. You know what they say about nature and a vacuum.
What are your thoughts focused on lately? Mine have been tuned into the economy and how to successfully work around its worrisome condition.
The news machine is always such a cornucopia of creativity stalling sludge but seems more so lately.
As a former member of the mainstream media and a current member of niche media ... I have to wonder does this much bad news really sell day after day?
All this time I have worked to write uplifting stories and entertaining pieces ... I didn't know that I could have made a million being a harbinger of doom ... dang, I missed my boat.
I don't care, I akin being a newspaper publisher today to being an oncologist. They pass out mostly horrible information and only rarely brighten someone's day. I have never looked at turning someone else's misfortune into a profit machine for myself. I think a lot of people that will ultimately grow rich during this time will be those that don't have a problem with this concept. I like to help people, I have always liked to help people.
That being said new ideas and new dynamic content will grace the HorseSouth website very soon.

Abundant Blessings (and yes, I really mean that)
Tess

Thursday, November 6, 2008

The winds of change ... or not?

Wow, what an impressive, historic few days we have had. Sadly, what a bunch of whiners and snobs the collective citizenship has turned into too.
I can't say that I am happy totally about our new direction in this Nation. I don't know how much different I would have felt if McCain, Huckabee or Barr stood in Barack Obama's place Tuesday night.
See, I don't believe who is President will make or break me. I, for sure, believe the office can help or challenge. It remains to be seen what will happen. So until then, lets just roll up our sleeves and get back to work. I mean no disrespect to those that might be out of work with that remark. Until today, my husband, who works for himself was sitting around twitting his thumbs. His work grinded to a halt in anticipation of who would win the election. Fortunately today the phone started ringing and he'll be back out fixing and building things tomorrow. It's a scary time for all of us but what we have to do, in any climate ... be it political or environmental is just figure out how to make the best of it. Because, it doesn't matter how much we worry or rejoice tomorrow will come. Night will fall, the sun will rise and time marches on, we are better off to march with it.
President-elect Obama wrote a book called the Audacity of Hope ... so lets be audacious and HOPE that this man can affect positive change and stand up under the enormous pressure of the burdens this country faces. Let's face it ... both Barack, John and Bob were running for an office that thou prestigious, is a house of cards.

So on to much happier thoughts!

The Equine Extravaganza in VA last weekend was so successful! We were surprised at the great attendance. We expected a good turnout with lower gas prices in the area but we had a steady stream of attendees all three days and had the best Sunday in the history of the event! YAY!
Brock Griffith of NC won the trainer challenge! YAY Brock!
He drew a nice roan colt ... funny to call a 17H sport horse a colt! All of these horses from VA Sport Horses seemed to have a LOT more life in them than the ones in the NC challenge. Brock made consistant steady progress with his colt ... he bucked the saddle on day one and was still rounded in the back on day two. Some saw the "want to" in the horse on day three, but he never bucked and Brock finished the obstacle course with time to spare and threw in some extras at the end. Scott Purdum's horse was full of bucks! Scott really had a challenge and thou he did not win the competition he proved his ability to the crowd beyond the shadow of a doubt and endeared himself to all there. After an extremely frustrating start, in which his horse ... aptly named "Arrive Alive" was very weary of seeing him out of both eyes. On one side or the other, this cute bay colt was a happy camper. But when Scott positioned himself where he could be seen on either side ... the bucking began! It took more time for this colt to come around but on day three - Scott executed a beautiful ride and was so pleased with the horse's trust and acceptance during the obstacle course he became emotional!
Charles Pelham drew a spotted colt that liked to kick! Sort of disrespectful and pushy from the get go - Charles got his colt rode but he never seemed to like it much. Charles, is a great guy and very funny and knowledgeable. Mule Thornbrugh looked to be in the lead after day one. On day two his colt bucked like a rank bronc and put Mule on the ground. Undeterred, Mule climbed back on rode through a good minute or more of bucking and we thought his colt was over it. Day three came and Mule was looking a good. Time for the obstacle course and be it the freedom of having the whole arena, or the crowds near the gate ... or has Mule put it "the good Lord saving him a whole lot of healing". His horse bucked and bawled and was not going to be ridden in the short 10 minutes Mule had to complete the course. In the end, he walked him thru graciously and showed the crowd he was a class act!
Mule was great - all that bucking brought the folks back on Sunday. It's like Nascar - everybody likes a wreck!
Trainer Challenge Judges were HorseSouth's own Ed Dabney. RTTH competitor Tommy Garland and local trainer and longtime horsewoman, former judge and coach Betty Fryer.
I got to spend a little time with Tommy who will be on the cover of our Spring 09 issue just in time for RTTH. I'll be talking to him more in the coming weeks. It was interesting to hear him talk about showing at Richmond Raceway when it was more of a horse facility than a racetrack ...
Ed was there with his daughter Maddie and his junior trainer Daniel. Along with judging he gave several demos and clinics with his mare Sunny. Ed and Maddie were fresh back from Europe teaching cavalry units and teaching French horses the Six Keys to Harmony. You can join Ed on a riding Holiday this coming summer check out his website www.eddabney.com to learn more.
Expos are always exhausting for me, but they are great fun!
til next time
Tess

Horse Industry related news and opinions as well as personal observations about life, love and horsiness from HorseSouth Magazine founder and publisher Tess Vanattia.

About Me

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I'm Tess the owner and founder of HorseSouth Magazine. The south's BEST horse publication. I am 38 years old. I am happily married to a wonderful guy. We have 3 beautiful children, 4 horses, 2 dogs and a very busy life. http://www.horsesouth.com