Friday, January 28, 2022

Monday, May 17, 2010

Out with my boots on ...

A little while ago my FB friend Sonya posted a photo of her worn, beloved Justin Lacers. I've worn out a pair or two myself. Along with the photo she shared how she'd lived her life in those boots and I was inspired to ask our readers to send in photos of their boots. I also asked readers to tell us how their riding boots empowered them.
Right now, I am waiting tables at a local restaurant a few shifts a week for spending money and mostly to get out of the house and away from this computer! It's a lot of fun. I love the people I work with and I love our guests that come in to eat. So today I worked the lunch shift. It wasn't very busy and I was home before 3 pm. It was gorgeous here today!
I walked right in the house and took off my work clothes, put on my riding pants, an old t-shirt and ... my boots.
My boots are Ariat pull-ons, they were Wade's before they were mine. When I bought them for him, I knew they'd be mine when he outgrew them. It didn't take him long. They are black, but are scuffed so that in places they look brown. The soles are thin, it hurts my feet to walk on the big crusher run gravel in our driveway. They aren't cute. They aren't stylish.
They are utilitarian.
When I pull them on, I am transformed.
I am more determined. I am focused. I am ... cowgirl!
Today I pulled them on, went right out and got my mare. I saddled her up and took her out to the round pen. I did ground work and I had every intention of riding her. I had her going so well, following my cues. She was cantering in both directions and I was just getting her to change directions with a twist of the lunge wip and pointing the other way. My girth broke and the saddle suddenly slipped and fell under her belly and it scared her to death. She began to gallop faster and faster. I was scared she'd fall and hurt herself. But I stayed calm and yelled WHOA. It took me a couple times, I asked her change directions and she DID! I said WHOA forcefully but not at a yell ... and she did the prettiest sliding stop you've ever seen! She was scared and breathing heavy. She was trembling. I think I was too. I'd been so frightened that she'd get tangled and fall.
I rubbed her and spoke softly and tried to let her know she was safe. I carefully undid the remaining girth strap and let the saddle slide off of her. I led her away from the rail to the middle of the pen. That's her resting spot. I looked closely at her legs and felt her belly for any injuries and seeing none I wrappend my arms around her graceful neck and hugged her. She pressed her head into my shoulder, in what we horse people describe as the best *hugs* on earth. We stood there. I nearly started to sob. But I was so proud of her for not coming unglued even though she was so scared. She ran, but she didn't buck or act out. I was so grateful she was ok! I was grateful that I stayed calm and got her out of a dangerous situation as quickly as I could.
I stood there hugging my horse for a long time. I thought about a lot of things. I thought about how frustrated Sylvi gets when words and letters get mixed up in her head and she can't read a sentence that she was able to read the day before. I thought about how many times I'd ran from things I was scared of. I thought about what keeps you grounded. For Terra (my mare) her training held true. She listened to me when it was most important. I've been so scared to ride her since my fall. But today we trusted each other in a significant way. I think we will be fine now.
For Sylvi, it's calm reassurance that if she just closes her eyes and takes a break from what she's trying to read then tries again when she's calmer ... the puzzle usually solves itself. Guess what Sylvi thinks of to calm her down? Her little pony, Junior.
You can't force trust, you can't force away fear ... but you can go back to what grounds you. You can find the calm place within and center there.
I've been so distracted and so far from the things that ground me and keep me the calm, rational, insightful person my friends have come to expect me to be.
I've let some of you down when you've come to me lately needing support and advice. I am sorry. I'm coming back to center. Back to my place of rest and calm. Soon, I'll be all I was and maybe a little better for some of the things I've had to deal with recently. Somethings are hard. Sometimes you get knocked down. Sometimes you get your heart stepped on. Sometimes your spirit is nearly broken. You can choose to let hardships influence positively or negatively. You can choose to be bitter. You can choose to feel broken and unmendable. OR ... you can get up, dust yourself off and be grateful for the blessings you do have. With a broken heart, you can learn to be more compassionate to others. When you've been knocked down you learn to reach out to help someone else up. When you spirit is banged up and bruised, you learn how to motivate others when you sense the same bedraggled spirit in them.
Life is a journey ... so enjoy the ride!

Blessings,
Tess

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Blogging via email

Maybe I'll blog more now that I can do it from my email!
 
Abundant Blessings,
Tess
 
Tess H. Vanattia, M.A., Ph.D.
HorseSouth Magazine, INC & Teadora Media
30 Ridge Crest Drive | Blairsville, GA | 30512
678.448.7287 | Skype ( therese.vanattia )
tess@horsesouth.com
 


Thursday, April 8, 2010

what just falls out sometimes ....

It always works out that when I need to write something, I can’t … but I can write something I want to. At least, that’s how it goes for me.
I guess there are a lot of quotes I could dig up about minding your tongue. There are many more about how your words affect folks. It's a two-way street. Your words might inspire or encourage or they might cut to the bone.
I'll share a very personal story.
About five days after my first child was born my then husband decided he didn't want to be married to me anymore. It sucked, pretty hard. I was mostly angry and because I had a precious newborn to care for I sort of adopted an attitude that I couldn't be bothered by his nonsensical crap. But I was broken on the inside, that big ol honkin' knife in my back was hard for me to ignore. Sometimes we package ourselves up in a way to seem more appealing to those we love or are partnered with. It’s not that we aren’t “ourselves” but sometimes you loose parts of yourself that were essential to the core of you. I had done that in this relationship, I cut away my cerebral tendencies, played down my intelligence. I lost so much of who I was. So the betrayal was two-fold for me.
My dear friend Templeton recently released a new album. She's an amazin' singer, songwriter, cowgirl poet. She has a song on this album called "Stronger in the broken places." http://www.templetonthompson.com
This song is an anthem for healing from anything that might have been a tough row to hoe for you. First time I heard it - tears instantly sprang to my eyes. It reminded me of nearly 13 years ago when I took my 6 week old baby to my post-havin'-a-baby appointment. I was alone. My husband was shacked up with his new love and I began the journey of raising my incredible son Wade on my own. In the waiting room this sweet and incredibly well meaning woman asked me or commented that she betted that my husband was sure proud of such a beautiful and perfect baby boy. Still full of a lot of anger, I said with as much grace as possible that I really wouldn't know. Without any great detail I explained that Wade's "dad" cheated on me while I was pregnant and was not really pitchin' in with the diaper changes. He was gone. I'll never forget that woman. She didn't belittle my ex-husband (who is making amends these days) but she said. "Well, honey ... you are in a better position than you think. You look in the mirror, you are so beautiful and you have this gorgeous baby boy and you will meet someone wonderful. You will meet a man that will fall in love with this child and with you, so don't you worry."
Her words were like a healing balm on a bad burn for me. Because at just 25 years old, I thought I was done. I’d loved two men at that point. One, who I could always be myself with, I’d lost due to my own stupidity and immaturity, and then my husband left me. I figured I was washed up. No more love for me. It’s amazing what you can dream up when you are feeling sorry for yourself.
I wish I knew that lady’s name.
She spoke my world into existence ... just threw it out there to the universe and about a year later I met Kent. Kent fell in love with Wade before he completely fell for me.
So what you say to someone, even if you are just bein' sweet or thoughtful can hold more meaning for someone than you ever realize.
We are stronger in the broken places ... love is a gamble; everyone’s bound to get knocked down. But, we all learn a little (or a lot) from each relationship.
I think that a lot of people feel broken these days (especially in the horse industry) because financial circumstances are beyond their control. It's hard not to feel broken when you don't have money to pay for the things you and your loved ones need. I know what that feels like. I also know we will all be better for the struggles. I really wonder if this isn't a higher power trying to wipe out that sense of entitlement that plagues our young people and many of their parents too. Many of us have been saying "we need to get back to basics" and how our values were eroding. Well, nothing will jerk you right into reality and make you aware of right from wrong like being absolutely forced live on the meager side. Maybe it's a collective smack upside the head? Variations of the quote “what doesn’t kill you, will make your stronger” have been etched into cave walls and still holds true today.
Having your circumstances change abruptly can make you a little jaded and cynical too. We can get past that. But moral decay is tough to turn around at a dead gallop, and baby – that horse has been stretched out and flat gettin’ it.
I don't know, but a lot of folks I know have spent the last year to 18 months getting back to those basics and enjoying time with their families. They are taking walks and enjoying simpler things.
I experience so much joy just from watching my kids. Yesterday, Sylvi and Wyatt stole an egg out of the fridge and were trying to “hatch” it. Sylvi is nine and knew better but she was humoring her little brother! My laughter was the product of pure, unadulterated amusement. You can't pay payments on that.
Just remember, no matter what happens … be it the loss of love, money or respect … tomorrow is another day. Take what you can from your mistakes and your experiences.
Regret can consume you if you don’t remember to ask yourself what you learned from stepping on the wrong path. A lesson sometimes will never make up for a loss you suffer.
This is true for me personally, but I am a better person today because of the mountains I’ve climbed, tunneled through or hiked around the long way.
I have three simple rules for life:
1. If you love someone tell them. Even if they don’t love you back you will make them feel special and they will remember you for how you made them feel. Complement people, they probably need it. Most of the time you are thinking … man I wish I could sing, play the guitar, paint, run, keep my house as clean, cook etc. etc. etc. as well as … anyway. Just tell them, geez.
2. Laugh, out loud and often as possible. Laugh at the absurdity, laugh at Murphy and his cruel jokes.
3. Remember to breathe, stop and look around … you are a puzzle piece in a giant jigsaw. But to know where you go, you have to be aware of where you are. Look up, pay attention and drink in the miracle of your existence. Everyone has a gift to share with the world. That’s the miracle of you.

Do these things and you’ll overcome most of your hurts and clear the obstacles that keep you from enjoying life.

You are stronger in the broken places!
peace and light
Tess

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Road to the Horse day 1

Jody Wood of the Wood Ranch brought a beautiful remuda for 2010. Greys, palominos, some striking bays ... it's alw.ays nice when the herd is colorful. These three year olds were also playful, alert and active.
I'll post photos on my return home.
I always like to ask folks which colt they would have picked. Interestingly, Tommmy Garland said he wouldn't have picked any of the colts choosen. He favored the bays. Josh Lyons did like the #9 horse. Ken McNabb chose #9, WR Turning Diamonds, a 2007 gray gelding by Blue Diamond Hancock out of Turning Commander.

Cameron chose colt #10, WR Shining Alamo, a 2007 palomino by Shining King Cody out of Alamosa Annie. Richard Winters chose #1, WR Shiner Flashback, a 2007 sorrel gelding by Shining King Cody by Flashy Flashback.

Winter's haltered his horse first and according to our resident training expert Jody Cook, may be ever so slightly further along than McNabb & Cameron. That said, Craig spent a lot of time bonding and rubbing his horse. It's so hard to tell this early.
All the horses were haltered and introduced to desensitization techniques of various degrees. But none were saddled.

They are closely matched for tomorrow's round pen sessions. It's just too early in the game to know. Predictions are all over the place.

On another note, the riding demos where outstanding.

Ken McNabb left not a dry eye in the house. He rode to the song "my father in me" while Trent and Kirk, his young sons played with cars in the dirt at the center of the arena. His flying lead changes, diagonals and half passes were outstanding. But when Kurt McNabb, Ken's father joined the boys to play ... 5000 people were moved beyond words. They wrapped the tear jerking ride with Ken dismounting and all four McNabb's walking out hand in hand.

Craig Cameron rode to a montage of two songs - and this man's ability to maneuver his horse at breakneck speeds is why he is the original "Extreme Cowboy". His seat is sublime and his cues are invisible - his ride is awe inspiring.

Richard Winters and his daughter Sara (age 20) executed dual reining spins, wore matching chaps and hats and executed a routine that rivaled any freestyle dressage or reining performance I've ever seen ... well, except Stacy Westfall's ... but really - how do you trump Stacy?

The opening ceremonies brought together Kurt and Trent McNabb and Tootie Bland's neices (4th generation Bland cowgirls) to carry the sponsor flags and Shortie Tarpley, wife of the new (and completely awesome by the way) boss wrangler Adam Tarpley.

For entertainment the incomparable "One Armed Bandit" John Payne was back with his buffalo, his mule and a new paint pony we should see him ride tomorrow. He ain't the 10 time PRCA entertainment act of the year for nothin' - it's just flat out jaw dropping to see him herd two buffalo up on top of a stock trailer and execute a reining spin on the same trailer while said trailer is pulling out of the arena.

and ... that, is all for tonight folks!

The HorseSouth info hotblog

Horse Industry related news and opinions as well as personal observations about life, love and horsiness from HorseSouth Magazine founder and publisher Tess Vanattia.

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I'm Tess the owner and founder of HorseSouth Magazine. The south's BEST horse publication. I am 38 years old. I am happily married to a wonderful guy. We have 3 beautiful children, 4 horses, 2 dogs and a very busy life. http://www.horsesouth.com