Did you ever let a bad thing get you down? Did you ever have a dream that fell by the wayside?
If you haven't you probably haven't lived that long.
Life can seem like such a struggle sometimes. The last several months have been some of the toughest our country has faced in my life time. Fortunes have been lost, jobs and homes. People have had to cut back and learn to live with less. I wonder what we've learned? Some of us, will no doubt be stronger for the experience. Some will feel that it ruined them. Some of those that feel it ruined their lives may be much more fortunate than those that will be bettered by it.
What is the difference in those two examples?
Certainly, you can look at character, work ethic and even faith. BUT - where the difference really is - is in the decision.
Being happy is a decision.
Being successful is a decision.
Being miserable is a decision.
You see, we all have bad days, we all have broken hearts ... some of us have been down the road to financial ruin and back again ... but the people that make it back from any bad circumstance make a decision that it will not affect them. That they will shed their tears and they resign themselves to the feelings the "thing" creates, but it doesn't change who they are or what they are striving to do during their time here on earth.
In the book I am co-writing with my dear Friend Templeton Thompson, we talk a lot about keeping your focus. Some of the most troublesome times you can have in your life have more to do with indecision than any other circumstance. But once you decide what to do ... there is freedom in that choice.
"Clean Thinking" is not about the power of positive thought, which Templeton and I do both feel has strong mojo! Clean Thinking is about the power of decision, maintaining focus on what you've decided and learning to keep making the choice to get there no matter what!
We hope that Clean Thinking is a culmination of all we've learned and observed in our own careers and by meeting and getting to know not only successful people ... but happy, content people.
Find the freedom you are looking for and get on the track to happiness.
Abundant Blessings,
Tess
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Climbing a steep hill
A few days ago, I went out to feed the horses. Inexplicably, one of the feed tubs was missing. We don't have a big paddock. Altogether it might be 3 acres. Most of it is wooded. So I knew it couldn't be too far away. I looked around for a bit, with all of the horses following me. They were just talking away to me, nickering and neighing, fussin' at me to hurry and feed them. Finally I spotted the feed bin. Some how it rolled to the very bottom of the steepest hill on our property.
Walking down the hill was easy. I have to be a little careful walking down hills because of severely blown out knees. Gymnastics seems fun when you are young ... actually it was pretty fun. But add some years, a few other injuries, and the onset of arthritis and well you start to wonder why you thought it necessary to swing around on uneven bars or flip yourself a 1000 ways across a springboard.
So back to the hill. There I was, at the bottom of the hill surrounded by hungry chatting horses. I picked up the feed tub and starting walking up the hill. The grade is longer at first, a slow slope. Not too bad. I was dodging poo piles and swatting flies. Then I got to the steep part. The horses where in my way, they wouldn't move readily. Usually they are well behaved critters but in anticipation of their breakfast, the manners ranked somewhere down there with the poo.
I got winded quickly and I slowed down. Patch, our biggest horse not so politely bumped me in the tookus with his large head. I didn't fall, but I was pitched froward and had to put my hands down to keep from falling. I dropped the feed bin and Murphy being all spiteful and sarcastic like he can be: of course it rolled back down the hill. Thankfully my little mare Terra stopped it with her nose. So I only had to walk back down the the bottom of the steep part of the hill.
I'll be honest here, I am about 40 pounds too heavy. I don't really gain weight easily. I seem to stay stuck at the same weight unless I make a radical change. Radical change, tends to kick your butt. I don't like my butt kicked.
But it was here at the almost bottom of the hill that I knew that I was ridiculously out of shape. So I started climbing up the hill, feed tub in tow. Hungry horses right behind me to make sure I didn't defect on their breakfast. I brought all four tubs up to the porch. Here's something funny for you non horse people. I spend more time "making" the horse's breakfast that I do my own. First I put in the grain. Then I add wet beet pulp and that's top dressed with a supplement. Sometimes we add Canola oil too. It takes 10 minutes or so to dip everything out. Then I put the tubs in the wheelbarrow and take them out to the fence line. The horses line up to eat according to their "pecking" order. Patchouli, Tabee, Junior and then Terra.
I got all the food set out. Then I realized that I was exhausted!
Then I was angry! I usually get angry when I can't do something well. It's a personality defect ... I am workin' on it, ok!
But yes, I was one of those kids that quit in the middle of Monopoly if I wasn't doing well. The difference is, usually, if I don't do something well. I learn to do it better.
Thing is, I know ALL about HOW to loose weight. I know ALL about WHAT to eat and WHAT NOT to eat. But I haven't gotten any better at it.
Then I sort of digressed a little and realized that life in general is like that hill. Sometimes you go down easy, sometimes you fall down fast and hard. Sometimes you are fit enough to run back up that hill and not miss a breath. Sometimes it's a struggle. Sometimes stuff is in your way and sometimes stuff knocks you down. But see, I had no choice but to walk back up that hill. Even if I went around, there was still a hill. That's life, you just gotta tough it out. In my industry we say "cowgirl up".
A long time ago I learned that we learn two ways: repetition or emotion. I also learned that sometimes a person is just not ready for the thing they are trying to do. There head isn't in the right place.
I once interviewed a famous horseman - I asked him if it bothered him when his students studied with him for years and years and then just quit. He told me that it used to bother him but he was finally able to realize that those people just weren't ready to completely learn the art of horsemanship. He told me that he wished he could play the guitar better and that he'd taken lessons from famous musicians. He told me that he "played at" his guitar several times a week. But he admitted, maybe even for the first time to both me and himself that he really wasn't ready to commit to being a better guitar player.
I guess, for whatever reason, I've not been ready to shed this weight for good. It's deeper than that thou. I know this is true for a lot of moms out there. I haven't been ready to focus on myself and my own needs. Not ready and not equipped. That's a gear change, don't you think? But I am doing it, in baby steps. I am teaching myself to remember ME. But it's a hill. It's a long steep hill.
If you are at the bottom of a hill ... you ain't got a choice. You just gotta climb it. Just look at the top of the hill (the goal) and climb. The obstacles will slow you down, sometimes they might stop you. Sometimes you might need the rest, so that's okay. But remember that you are climbing. I think the top is a fantasy but I think, if you work on it. You get better at the climb. I think maybe one day you'll just be walking over small hills and jumping ditches and puddles. I think - when you are ready, the climb is a welcome addition to your day.
Keep climbing,
Tess
Walking down the hill was easy. I have to be a little careful walking down hills because of severely blown out knees. Gymnastics seems fun when you are young ... actually it was pretty fun. But add some years, a few other injuries, and the onset of arthritis and well you start to wonder why you thought it necessary to swing around on uneven bars or flip yourself a 1000 ways across a springboard.
So back to the hill. There I was, at the bottom of the hill surrounded by hungry chatting horses. I picked up the feed tub and starting walking up the hill. The grade is longer at first, a slow slope. Not too bad. I was dodging poo piles and swatting flies. Then I got to the steep part. The horses where in my way, they wouldn't move readily. Usually they are well behaved critters but in anticipation of their breakfast, the manners ranked somewhere down there with the poo.
I got winded quickly and I slowed down. Patch, our biggest horse not so politely bumped me in the tookus with his large head. I didn't fall, but I was pitched froward and had to put my hands down to keep from falling. I dropped the feed bin and Murphy being all spiteful and sarcastic like he can be: of course it rolled back down the hill. Thankfully my little mare Terra stopped it with her nose. So I only had to walk back down the the bottom of the steep part of the hill.
I'll be honest here, I am about 40 pounds too heavy. I don't really gain weight easily. I seem to stay stuck at the same weight unless I make a radical change. Radical change, tends to kick your butt. I don't like my butt kicked.
But it was here at the almost bottom of the hill that I knew that I was ridiculously out of shape. So I started climbing up the hill, feed tub in tow. Hungry horses right behind me to make sure I didn't defect on their breakfast. I brought all four tubs up to the porch. Here's something funny for you non horse people. I spend more time "making" the horse's breakfast that I do my own. First I put in the grain. Then I add wet beet pulp and that's top dressed with a supplement. Sometimes we add Canola oil too. It takes 10 minutes or so to dip everything out. Then I put the tubs in the wheelbarrow and take them out to the fence line. The horses line up to eat according to their "pecking" order. Patchouli, Tabee, Junior and then Terra.
I got all the food set out. Then I realized that I was exhausted!
Then I was angry! I usually get angry when I can't do something well. It's a personality defect ... I am workin' on it, ok!
But yes, I was one of those kids that quit in the middle of Monopoly if I wasn't doing well. The difference is, usually, if I don't do something well. I learn to do it better.
Thing is, I know ALL about HOW to loose weight. I know ALL about WHAT to eat and WHAT NOT to eat. But I haven't gotten any better at it.
Then I sort of digressed a little and realized that life in general is like that hill. Sometimes you go down easy, sometimes you fall down fast and hard. Sometimes you are fit enough to run back up that hill and not miss a breath. Sometimes it's a struggle. Sometimes stuff is in your way and sometimes stuff knocks you down. But see, I had no choice but to walk back up that hill. Even if I went around, there was still a hill. That's life, you just gotta tough it out. In my industry we say "cowgirl up".
A long time ago I learned that we learn two ways: repetition or emotion. I also learned that sometimes a person is just not ready for the thing they are trying to do. There head isn't in the right place.
I once interviewed a famous horseman - I asked him if it bothered him when his students studied with him for years and years and then just quit. He told me that it used to bother him but he was finally able to realize that those people just weren't ready to completely learn the art of horsemanship. He told me that he wished he could play the guitar better and that he'd taken lessons from famous musicians. He told me that he "played at" his guitar several times a week. But he admitted, maybe even for the first time to both me and himself that he really wasn't ready to commit to being a better guitar player.
I guess, for whatever reason, I've not been ready to shed this weight for good. It's deeper than that thou. I know this is true for a lot of moms out there. I haven't been ready to focus on myself and my own needs. Not ready and not equipped. That's a gear change, don't you think? But I am doing it, in baby steps. I am teaching myself to remember ME. But it's a hill. It's a long steep hill.
If you are at the bottom of a hill ... you ain't got a choice. You just gotta climb it. Just look at the top of the hill (the goal) and climb. The obstacles will slow you down, sometimes they might stop you. Sometimes you might need the rest, so that's okay. But remember that you are climbing. I think the top is a fantasy but I think, if you work on it. You get better at the climb. I think maybe one day you'll just be walking over small hills and jumping ditches and puddles. I think - when you are ready, the climb is a welcome addition to your day.
Keep climbing,
Tess
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Finding your feet ...
Over the years in publishing HorseSouth, I have met many people. Some people were just memorable and some people I consider dear friends. Over the weekend my friends Chris Cox ( http://www.chris-cox.com ) and his business manager Glen Young were in Clemson, SC for one of Chris' Ride the Journey tour stops.
My hubby Kent was gracious enough to stay home with our kids and my dear friend Karen Jones came over and we rode over to Clemson yesterday to visit with our friends.
I have attended so very many clinics and demonstrations over the last 9 years that I have to confess, I don't often pay attention during them anymore.
After we visited with Glen & Chris during lunch the clinic resumed and Chris was working with a pretty palomino on collection issues and admittedly I was checking my facebook page and not really listening. He worked that little horse and got it softer and more supple and had it cantering all collected up - which is a pretty sight. He was putting some leg on him / her (I don't remember if it was a mare or a gelding). After a bit, he asked the horse's owner to ride. He was reminding her to look where she wanted to go instead of at the horse. Because when you are riding, you'll loose your rhythm if you look down. Not sure why you do, but you do. You have to focus on where you want the horse to go. It's very important.
But think about that, think about how that translates to life in general. You have to stay focused on where you want to go. You you look down or back, you loose your rhythm - just the same as on the back of a horse. It's a flow of energy and once it's disrupted, you sort of have to be skilled to get the energy flowing in the right direction again.
In my book, which I am writing with another dear horsey friend Templeton Thompson, we talk about rivers of shit! LOL sounds silly, I know. But so true to life. Everything in life has a flow of energy. Even the bad stuff. But so many times we stay marred up in the shit. The problem with shit is that no matter where you put it, how you package it ... it's still shit. Templeton said that you have to let the shit river flow ... just like the you let the good energy river flow. If you don't let energy flow, if you stop it and play with it or you stay mucked up in it - well, that's where you will be! That's where so many people are. An old saying about that is "they can't see the Forrest for the tress". When I was involved in multilevel marketing folks would say about a new recruit with potential "he's too busy making $10 an hour to be a millionaire". Don't sweat the small stuff, learn to let it flow on down the road.
Later on in the day Chris rode his horse Pepto to talk about lead changes. He talked about how important it was to know where your horse's feet are. If you know that, he explained, you have better feel and control over your horse's body and energy. Also, you are a lot more confident when you know where the feet are. You aren't as apt to be taken by surprise etc. This lesson too, translates to everyday life. How many people do you see lost in thought or lost in a routine, just going thru the motions of life? They don't know where their feet are. Even later in the day, we were at dinner at a wonderful restaurant in Clemson called Pixie & Bill's. J. Parson's was singing and the restaurant owner was listening, everyone was relaxed enjoying good company, great music and friendship. The owner of the restaurant asked Chris the mystical question. "What is the connection" how is it that horses help people so much? In this instance, he was referring to therapeutic services and autistic children being helped by the presence of horses.
This is a question that even one of the most recognized horsemen in the world can't fully answer. But he explained how horses are just sponges, and they can just "soak" up the emotions of their human and spill it back out. With a child or a mentally challenged person, a physically challenged person this is almost always a good thing. But with an anger ridden person, a depressed person it can be either emotionally cleansing or it can be a train wreck. This is why therapeutic programs have a professional there to make sure the experience for the troubled person is cathartic and positive. Why horses can do this for people is somewhat mysterious so it's a hard question for someone to answer in a oratorical fashion. What Chris did say is that horses "ground" people. When you are riding or just hanging out with horses all of the worries and chaos that is life on earth just melts away and you are grounded, you are one with time ... in that moment. You know where your feet are!
SO ask yourself this week ... do I know where my feet are? And if you don't, find them! Maybe you can find them with your horses. Maybe you can find them in a trout stream. Maybe your feet will return to you during a golf game. I don't know what grounds you. But find it. Because if we could all get more grounded and know where our feet are, the world would be a better place.
Abundant Blessings,
Tess
My hubby Kent was gracious enough to stay home with our kids and my dear friend Karen Jones came over and we rode over to Clemson yesterday to visit with our friends.
I have attended so very many clinics and demonstrations over the last 9 years that I have to confess, I don't often pay attention during them anymore.
After we visited with Glen & Chris during lunch the clinic resumed and Chris was working with a pretty palomino on collection issues and admittedly I was checking my facebook page and not really listening. He worked that little horse and got it softer and more supple and had it cantering all collected up - which is a pretty sight. He was putting some leg on him / her (I don't remember if it was a mare or a gelding). After a bit, he asked the horse's owner to ride. He was reminding her to look where she wanted to go instead of at the horse. Because when you are riding, you'll loose your rhythm if you look down. Not sure why you do, but you do. You have to focus on where you want the horse to go. It's very important.
But think about that, think about how that translates to life in general. You have to stay focused on where you want to go. You you look down or back, you loose your rhythm - just the same as on the back of a horse. It's a flow of energy and once it's disrupted, you sort of have to be skilled to get the energy flowing in the right direction again.
In my book, which I am writing with another dear horsey friend Templeton Thompson, we talk about rivers of shit! LOL sounds silly, I know. But so true to life. Everything in life has a flow of energy. Even the bad stuff. But so many times we stay marred up in the shit. The problem with shit is that no matter where you put it, how you package it ... it's still shit. Templeton said that you have to let the shit river flow ... just like the you let the good energy river flow. If you don't let energy flow, if you stop it and play with it or you stay mucked up in it - well, that's where you will be! That's where so many people are. An old saying about that is "they can't see the Forrest for the tress". When I was involved in multilevel marketing folks would say about a new recruit with potential "he's too busy making $10 an hour to be a millionaire". Don't sweat the small stuff, learn to let it flow on down the road.
Later on in the day Chris rode his horse Pepto to talk about lead changes. He talked about how important it was to know where your horse's feet are. If you know that, he explained, you have better feel and control over your horse's body and energy. Also, you are a lot more confident when you know where the feet are. You aren't as apt to be taken by surprise etc. This lesson too, translates to everyday life. How many people do you see lost in thought or lost in a routine, just going thru the motions of life? They don't know where their feet are. Even later in the day, we were at dinner at a wonderful restaurant in Clemson called Pixie & Bill's. J. Parson's was singing and the restaurant owner was listening, everyone was relaxed enjoying good company, great music and friendship. The owner of the restaurant asked Chris the mystical question. "What is the connection" how is it that horses help people so much? In this instance, he was referring to therapeutic services and autistic children being helped by the presence of horses.
This is a question that even one of the most recognized horsemen in the world can't fully answer. But he explained how horses are just sponges, and they can just "soak" up the emotions of their human and spill it back out. With a child or a mentally challenged person, a physically challenged person this is almost always a good thing. But with an anger ridden person, a depressed person it can be either emotionally cleansing or it can be a train wreck. This is why therapeutic programs have a professional there to make sure the experience for the troubled person is cathartic and positive. Why horses can do this for people is somewhat mysterious so it's a hard question for someone to answer in a oratorical fashion. What Chris did say is that horses "ground" people. When you are riding or just hanging out with horses all of the worries and chaos that is life on earth just melts away and you are grounded, you are one with time ... in that moment. You know where your feet are!
SO ask yourself this week ... do I know where my feet are? And if you don't, find them! Maybe you can find them with your horses. Maybe you can find them in a trout stream. Maybe your feet will return to you during a golf game. I don't know what grounds you. But find it. Because if we could all get more grounded and know where our feet are, the world would be a better place.
Abundant Blessings,
Tess
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About Me
- Tess Logic
- I'm Tess the owner and founder of HorseSouth Magazine. The south's BEST horse publication. I am 38 years old. I am happily married to a wonderful guy. We have 3 beautiful children, 4 horses, 2 dogs and a very busy life. http://www.horsesouth.com