Out with my boots on ...

A little while ago my FB friend Sonya posted a photo of her worn, beloved Justin Lacers. I've worn out a pair or two myself. Along with the photo she shared how she'd lived her life in those boots and I was inspired to ask our readers to send in photos of their boots. I also asked readers to tell us how their riding boots empowered them.
Right now, I am waiting tables at a local restaurant a few shifts a week for spending money and mostly to get out of the house and away from this computer! It's a lot of fun. I love the people I work with and I love our guests that come in to eat. So today I worked the lunch shift. It wasn't very busy and I was home before 3 pm. It was gorgeous here today!
I walked right in the house and took off my work clothes, put on my riding pants, an old t-shirt and ... my boots.
My boots are Ariat pull-ons, they were Wade's before they were mine. When I bought them for him, I knew they'd be mine when he outgrew them. It didn't take him long. They are black, but are scuffed so that in places they look brown. The soles are thin, it hurts my feet to walk on the big crusher run gravel in our driveway. They aren't cute. They aren't stylish.
They are utilitarian.
When I pull them on, I am transformed.
I am more determined. I am focused. I am ... cowgirl!
Today I pulled them on, went right out and got my mare. I saddled her up and took her out to the round pen. I did ground work and I had every intention of riding her. I had her going so well, following my cues. She was cantering in both directions and I was just getting her to change directions with a twist of the lunge wip and pointing the other way. My girth broke and the saddle suddenly slipped and fell under her belly and it scared her to death. She began to gallop faster and faster. I was scared she'd fall and hurt herself. But I stayed calm and yelled WHOA. It took me a couple times, I asked her change directions and she DID! I said WHOA forcefully but not at a yell ... and she did the prettiest sliding stop you've ever seen! She was scared and breathing heavy. She was trembling. I think I was too. I'd been so frightened that she'd get tangled and fall.
I rubbed her and spoke softly and tried to let her know she was safe. I carefully undid the remaining girth strap and let the saddle slide off of her. I led her away from the rail to the middle of the pen. That's her resting spot. I looked closely at her legs and felt her belly for any injuries and seeing none I wrappend my arms around her graceful neck and hugged her. She pressed her head into my shoulder, in what we horse people describe as the best *hugs* on earth. We stood there. I nearly started to sob. But I was so proud of her for not coming unglued even though she was so scared. She ran, but she didn't buck or act out. I was so grateful she was ok! I was grateful that I stayed calm and got her out of a dangerous situation as quickly as I could.
I stood there hugging my horse for a long time. I thought about a lot of things. I thought about how frustrated Sylvi gets when words and letters get mixed up in her head and she can't read a sentence that she was able to read the day before. I thought about how many times I'd ran from things I was scared of. I thought about what keeps you grounded. For Terra (my mare) her training held true. She listened to me when it was most important. I've been so scared to ride her since my fall. But today we trusted each other in a significant way. I think we will be fine now.
For Sylvi, it's calm reassurance that if she just closes her eyes and takes a break from what she's trying to read then tries again when she's calmer ... the puzzle usually solves itself. Guess what Sylvi thinks of to calm her down? Her little pony, Junior.
You can't force trust, you can't force away fear ... but you can go back to what grounds you. You can find the calm place within and center there.
I've been so distracted and so far from the things that ground me and keep me the calm, rational, insightful person my friends have come to expect me to be.
I've let some of you down when you've come to me lately needing support and advice. I am sorry. I'm coming back to center. Back to my place of rest and calm. Soon, I'll be all I was and maybe a little better for some of the things I've had to deal with recently. Somethings are hard. Sometimes you get knocked down. Sometimes you get your heart stepped on. Sometimes your spirit is nearly broken. You can choose to let hardships influence positively or negatively. You can choose to be bitter. You can choose to feel broken and unmendable. OR ... you can get up, dust yourself off and be grateful for the blessings you do have. With a broken heart, you can learn to be more compassionate to others. When you've been knocked down you learn to reach out to help someone else up. When you spirit is banged up and bruised, you learn how to motivate others when you sense the same bedraggled spirit in them.
Life is a journey ... so enjoy the ride!

Blessings,
Tess